I have spent 30 years in a body that I'm completely irresponsible with... I live the all too common story of do too much, sleep too little, and live on processed food and caffeine. I spend a lot of time complaining and no time making changes...it's time to turn the crazy train around and start taking care of my only body! This is my story as I am supported by Port Moody's Innovative Fitness and Impulse Sport Therapeutics to quit the excuses and get this body under control.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Starting 2012 with the puppy-diet
I am beginning the year with what is quickly proving to be the most effective diet ever....
Step 1: get a puppy (the crazier the puppy the better)
Step 2: take care of the puppy
That's pretty much it.
Reasons why this diet works...
1. when puppies are awake they don't EVER stop chewing your stuff, running, urinating/crapping on your floor, and pretty much being distracting in every way....this both keeps you up and moving and eliminates any time you used to have to eat
2. when puppies are asleep they are very likely to be on top of you in some way or another....even sleeping in close proximity places a healthy fear of moving to get something to eat in case the noise or movement causes the puppy to wake up (which would subsequently lead to urination on something). Plus I'm fairly certain that waking a sleeping puppy is illegal in some way... at the very least, ethically wrong.
3. Puppies require a significant amount of pre-leaving-the-house prep time, which is easily combined with doing this for yourself. Vitamins? - no problem! Lunch prep? - you're doing it anyways! (although I do recommend choosing different foods than you feed your pup....unless you love kibble, or food that looks and smells much like vomit)
4. Puppies are exhausting which leads to an increased need to sleep at night
5. They need plenty of exercise or they become cranky and bark (so says the dog whisperer) which means you get to walk too (unless you can figure out a way to walk your dog from the comfort of your sofa....treadmill?)
Case in point...
Look down at yourself... are you fat? Yes? Get a puppy right now.
 |
| Harlow |
Step 2: take care of the puppy
That's pretty much it.
Reasons why this diet works...
1. when puppies are awake they don't EVER stop chewing your stuff, running, urinating/crapping on your floor, and pretty much being distracting in every way....this both keeps you up and moving and eliminates any time you used to have to eat
2. when puppies are asleep they are very likely to be on top of you in some way or another....even sleeping in close proximity places a healthy fear of moving to get something to eat in case the noise or movement causes the puppy to wake up (which would subsequently lead to urination on something). Plus I'm fairly certain that waking a sleeping puppy is illegal in some way... at the very least, ethically wrong.
3. Puppies require a significant amount of pre-leaving-the-house prep time, which is easily combined with doing this for yourself. Vitamins? - no problem! Lunch prep? - you're doing it anyways! (although I do recommend choosing different foods than you feed your pup....unless you love kibble, or food that looks and smells much like vomit)
4. Puppies are exhausting which leads to an increased need to sleep at night
5. They need plenty of exercise or they become cranky and bark (so says the dog whisperer) which means you get to walk too (unless you can figure out a way to walk your dog from the comfort of your sofa....treadmill?)
Case in point...
Look down at yourself... are you fat? Yes? Get a puppy right now.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
My sweet seeds
Staff from both my clinics have been bombarding me with tips, tricks and treatment during this last week of sickness (I think perhaps partly because they are tired of hearing me cough till I nearly pass out? Or else they think I may pass on some sort of contagious deadly disease? hmmm).
Today's help came from Kim the Chinese Medicine Doctor who stuck small black seeds onto me with bits of tape (4 in each ear and one on each wrist). Why would a person want 10 seeds attached to them you ask? I wish I had an answer, but alas I bear my seeds proudly with blind faith in Kim. She explained to me that they are putting pressure onto spots that are linked to the lungs in Chinese Medicine. She also stuck one seed that is supposedly my "anxiety spot"(probably because I was freaking out about the weird sharp seeds being attached to me) and I feel dreamily calm....this could be because I slept for 4 hours last night and am half asleep?...or.....seeds.
Today's help came from Kim the Chinese Medicine Doctor who stuck small black seeds onto me with bits of tape (4 in each ear and one on each wrist). Why would a person want 10 seeds attached to them you ask? I wish I had an answer, but alas I bear my seeds proudly with blind faith in Kim. She explained to me that they are putting pressure onto spots that are linked to the lungs in Chinese Medicine. She also stuck one seed that is supposedly my "anxiety spot"(probably because I was freaking out about the weird sharp seeds being attached to me) and I feel dreamily calm....this could be because I slept for 4 hours last night and am half asleep?...or.....seeds.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Nutrition: Lung tea
Nutritionist extraordinaire Jamieson sent me this recipe for lung-repair-tea....going to make it now :)
Try a mixture made by boiling equal amounts of basil leaves, black pepper and ginger in 50ml of water.
The water needs to boil till it reduces to half its size before it can be consumed, but its pretty bitchin' at clearing up respiratory infections.
Garlic is good too, and lots of it!
Try a mixture made by boiling equal amounts of basil leaves, black pepper and ginger in 50ml of water.
The water needs to boil till it reduces to half its size before it can be consumed, but its pretty bitchin' at clearing up respiratory infections.
Garlic is good too, and lots of it!
I love my lungs
Well...truthfully I hate them, but I feel like I should put love out there or they may just give up completely. I shouldn't be ungrateful for the fact that they do process oxygen most of the time and I do have to admit I would be dead if I didn't have them. My question is, however...why do my lungs act like I smoke 3 packs a day even after a year of healthy changes?? (I'm scream-typing that last part).
I am currently battling a pretty solid lung infection....I feel like I'm being held under water at the same time as being punched in the sternum at the same time as being suffocated by a cat.
I had pneumonia in 2005 (which began all of my awesome health back tracking and weight gain) and really, I've been fighting the fight ever since. I haven't had pneumonia for a few years but do get regular lung infections which suck nearly as much, and have ongoing asthma blah blah blah....rad. Right now no gym, no spin class....no walking fast haha.
After I get over this one, I'm officially on a mission to get the lungs under control! Traditional Chinese Medicine Doctor at Moveo Kim says that she can help....I'm in!
I am currently battling a pretty solid lung infection....I feel like I'm being held under water at the same time as being punched in the sternum at the same time as being suffocated by a cat.
I had pneumonia in 2005 (which began all of my awesome health back tracking and weight gain) and really, I've been fighting the fight ever since. I haven't had pneumonia for a few years but do get regular lung infections which suck nearly as much, and have ongoing asthma blah blah blah....rad. Right now no gym, no spin class....no walking fast haha.
After I get over this one, I'm officially on a mission to get the lungs under control! Traditional Chinese Medicine Doctor at Moveo Kim says that she can help....I'm in!
Thursday, December 8, 2011
No longer MIA...
Not entirely sure why I keep going on anti-posting stints...I do have to admit I get a bit rebellious when it comes to repetition...perhaps I just needed to prove that I don't have to blog if I don't want to? haha
Enough is enough.....here's the update....
I'm doing great. As much as progress has been slow - this year is the first time in memory that there has been real progress at all! I did have years of being in good shape, but I really handled the mental side poorly and the result was a major slide back into old, unhealthy ways. This time around I am taking my time and making actual steps forward bit by bit toward revamping lifestyle and making solid, sustainable changes :) I really feel like the last month especially I can see a major shift here - finally everything is not quite as hard (thank sweet tiny baby Jesus) and I can see the path ahead much more clearly. What a year of inching along (millimetering?) but I can really see only continued change ahead and I'm pretty excited for 2012!
Enough is enough.....here's the update....
I'm doing great. As much as progress has been slow - this year is the first time in memory that there has been real progress at all! I did have years of being in good shape, but I really handled the mental side poorly and the result was a major slide back into old, unhealthy ways. This time around I am taking my time and making actual steps forward bit by bit toward revamping lifestyle and making solid, sustainable changes :) I really feel like the last month especially I can see a major shift here - finally everything is not quite as hard (thank sweet tiny baby Jesus) and I can see the path ahead much more clearly. What a year of inching along (millimetering?) but I can really see only continued change ahead and I'm pretty excited for 2012!
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