Health - fat feet hospital visit

This week the concern about my huge feet has been pointed out by enough people that I adventured to the Doctor yet again. When the doc learned I was heading out of town Monday (oh ya - going to Russia on Monday for Waterski Worlds) he suggested I head to the hospital so that the tests would be done right away.
8:30pm: Arrive at the ER feeling kind of sheepish for being there...not sure that fat feet are much of an emergency
8:35pm: Feeling sheepish turns into feeling worried as the triage lady was pretty clear that swollen feet with pitting edema is absolutely a reason to get some tests done asap.
8:45: settled in to the waiting room
10:00: ya! waiting room officially empty - I must be next! As much as the documentary about an octopus learning how to open a jar is riveting, I'd rather get outta here
10:15: girl with something poking out of her eye comes in - crap, bumped.
11:00: another lady comes in but it doesn't seem serious - good....oh geez, she keeps laying on the floor and yelling - crap, bumped (crazy is apparently effective)
11:30: I'm in! ya! Oh...never-mind....I'm relocated
1:00: Cute Doctor comes in to ask me about my feet...looks concerned...asks 100 questions while poking me (cute, but he did keep spitting on me when he talked - ew)
1:30: tests begin....
1:35: the lady beside me (literally we are separated by 6 inches and a curtain) pops over to let me know that her son (my age) is waiting for tests for his severe ball pain
2:30: I have now endured 2 x-rays, a pee-test, 2 heart tests, 1 really poor attempt at a blood test but no luck on finding a vein, 2 actual blood tests (lets review how I feel about these), and have had to stand around with no shirt on in front of at least 5 different people while they poke me in the abdomen and listen to my heart & lungs for the 10th time
3:30: A new doctor comes over to let the guy beside me know that he has a kidney stone and the ball pain should subside soon and then pops over to let me know that I'm perfectly healthy and can head on home

So apparently although I am having strange health concerns like hair-loss and huge feet, I am a healthy gal? This is great and weird news.