So I met with new member on my Innovative Fitness support team Richard Alm this morning - he specializes in Bio-Signature assessments/planning (later I'll get into what this is exactly but basically it is nutrition planning that targets areas of issue etc...lots of intimidating things like body composition measurements, using calipers to measure fat (ummm rad), weigh-ins etc...(pretty much my nightmare). Today was just a chat day about what my life and brain look like to get some direction as to the best way to move forward. How I'm feeling about it is so difficult to explain in writing (much like my recent entry about conflicting feelings), but here's my attempt....
1. I feel really overwhelmed and upset because it's pretty clear that it's time to deal with this...I have 4 guys pushing for me to make some major changes and I honestly can't see an avenue to avoid facing my food issues etc any longer (and trust me I have looked for one!) The knowledge that I may have exhausted every avenue of avoidance is surprisingly upsetting.
1. I feel really overwhelmed and upset because it's pretty clear that it's time to deal with this...I have 4 guys pushing for me to make some major changes and I honestly can't see an avenue to avoid facing my food issues etc any longer (and trust me I have looked for one!) The knowledge that I may have exhausted every avenue of avoidance is surprisingly upsetting.
2. I feel really excited for the same reasons that I'm upset...making some serious changes to long long term habits seems to be unavoidable. It's a bit like I'm at the top of a hill and there's no choice but rolling down the other side...this has been such a huge struggle in my life that the idea of moving on is pretty significant and truthfully I have butterflies just typing this (the prospect of freedom from food issues is emotional to say the very least).
3. I feel gratitude. How many people in the world are struggling with the same issues that I am, but don't have this amazing support system of trainers (who are beyond committed to seeing me succeed), family & friends, and resources...I'm beyond blessed. It is a big motivator truthfully because I feel like I am wasting everyone's time and energy if I don't put in just as much commitment.
My comments about being pushed into making some changes shouldn't be misunderstood - as I've said before, I am a firm believer in choice (which Richard did bring up today - he also believes that most things are a choice even if they don't seem to be). I just mean that I currently have a team of people on all sides that are making choosing un-health extremely difficult. When choosing to be unhealthy becomes harderthan choosing to be healthy, making some change seems inevitable?Other than talking about choice, Richard and I also discussed all of the problems being overweight will bring (and is bringing) which I do know but it's good to have it laid out. We talked about fear and embarrassment, being ready to make change (when it comes down to it nothing will happen unless I WANT it), motivators (am I motivated by greed/want or by fear/pain and how do I direct those toward achievingmy goals). Talking about goals made me pretty thoughtful because if I were to write down my goals around health (which I've actually never done), barely anything I have done over the last few years supports these goals... interesting. I am going to have to give some serious thought to why I am putting so much energy into things that directly go against my goals.
My homework from Richard for now is to eat breakfast (2 eggs or meat), increase protein intake, take a multivitamin & fish oil (which they gave me at IF), and no more sugar drinks - only water. I have been given plenty of nutritional homework this year and have done none of it...time to buckle down and give my support team (and myself) the commitment we all deserve. I am going to meet with Richard for a bit and then move on to perhaps combining his stuff with Licious Living which I have on hold for a short while until I have more of an idea of what exactly I should be including in my program...I know that the reason I was signing up for Licious is that I don't seem to be able to have the discipline to make changes to my diet....I'm going to try my very best to do it do it do it this time (insert any quote you like about "not trying, just doing" here).It's going to be really hard for me so beware to everyone in my path for the next while since grumpy Leah is likely on the horizon! Roar!
My comments about being pushed into making some changes shouldn't be misunderstood - as I've said before, I am a firm believer in choice (which Richard did bring up today - he also believes that most things are a choice even if they don't seem to be). I just mean that I currently have a team of people on all sides that are making choosing un-health extremely difficult. When choosing to be unhealthy becomes harderthan choosing to be healthy, making some change seems inevitable?Other than talking about choice, Richard and I also discussed all of the problems being overweight will bring (and is bringing) which I do know but it's good to have it laid out. We talked about fear and embarrassment, being ready to make change (when it comes down to it nothing will happen unless I WANT it), motivators (am I motivated by greed/want or by fear/pain and how do I direct those toward achievingmy goals). Talking about goals made me pretty thoughtful because if I were to write down my goals around health (which I've actually never done), barely anything I have done over the last few years supports these goals... interesting. I am going to have to give some serious thought to why I am putting so much energy into things that directly go against my goals.
My homework from Richard for now is to eat breakfast (2 eggs or meat), increase protein intake, take a multivitamin & fish oil (which they gave me at IF), and no more sugar drinks - only water. I have been given plenty of nutritional homework this year and have done none of it...time to buckle down and give my support team (and myself) the commitment we all deserve. I am going to meet with Richard for a bit and then move on to perhaps combining his stuff with Licious Living which I have on hold for a short while until I have more of an idea of what exactly I should be including in my program...I know that the reason I was signing up for Licious is that I don't seem to be able to have the discipline to make changes to my diet....I'm going to try my very best to do it do it do it this time (insert any quote you like about "not trying, just doing" here).It's going to be really hard for me so beware to everyone in my path for the next while since grumpy Leah is likely on the horizon! Roar!
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